"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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