they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
