I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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