i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
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Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
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My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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