saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
