Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize