I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
