Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
