maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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