I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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