i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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