I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
