Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
