dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
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Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
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And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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