she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I didn't notice because vodka
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
you never un-have a 4some
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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