So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
