im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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