why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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