you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
