they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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