GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
