Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
