I accidentally burped into my bong.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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