I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
