Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
