The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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