He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
