It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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