yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
