Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
