Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
