I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
