Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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