she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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