it wasn't lemon gatorade
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
