I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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