She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
