oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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