That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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