i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
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There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
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The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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