I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize