After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sober January is a disaster.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
