I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize