Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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