Ambien. No doubt about it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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