he thought i was a dude.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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