do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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