I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
