you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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