are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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