Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
