I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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