His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
