I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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