When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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