That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
