just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
