I think I died a long time ago.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
