he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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