Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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